will be at great peril because the culture is not safe for those conversations
to be held.
• Practise. As uncomfortable as it sounds,
Grenny insists that healthy organizations practise holding hard conversations about items that aren’t all that
risky. When the high-risk events do
occur, they are accustomed to discussing them.
As principles like these have been
shared and debated in Culture of Honesty workshops ( www.growingleadership.com) held by Willow Creek Canada
across the country, one observation has
emerged with such clarity we have been
caught off guard.
The intent of the workshops was to
focus on raising the level of respectful
honesty in churches. As we have held
those discussions, though, it has become
apparent that the need is even greater in
our marriages and homes. The pseudo-community we too often experience
in our faith communities is a reflection
of the pseudo-intimacy we experience in
our most personal relationships.
This must change. We must find the
courage and the skill to change the cultures in which we live, love and raise our
families.
What can you expect if you embark on
the journey to build a culture of honesty
in your home or church?
It has been my experience that if you
begin being more honest in an environ-
ment that isn’t accustomed to it, people
will wonder what’s wrong. They’ll assume
you are upset or mad. This response will
require you to persist calmly and respect-
fully to convince them you aren’t upset,
but rather are on a journey toward health-
ier relationships. You can also expect, to
quote Grenny one last time, “If you ex-
perience even a little bit of progress in this
area, the results will be enormous.”
People are longing for authentic com-
munity. Even a taste of it is worth the
risk. /FT
Tim Schroeder of Kelowna, B.C., is national pastor for
The Leadership Centre Willow Creek Canada.
— Canada’s Christian magazine
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RETHINK
War and
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