BY. CRILEIDY LIRIANO
Why did you decide to “wait on God” for the right person before getting
into a serious relationship?
Other than being busy with school, I didn’t want to rush that part of my
life because it’s a major decision and I didn’t want to screw it up. When
I was younger, I always knew to wait on God. As I got more mature in
my relationship with the Lord and understand that He has a plan for my
life it made it easier. I also didn’t want to date a lot of different men and
give myself emotionally to a whole bunch of people, primarily because
I knew I wasn’t ready for marriage. I truly decided to wait because I
understood He has someone to compliment my life and I compliment
his. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely points along my journey where I made massive mistakes- dating guys that weren’t even
Christians, but if I had the chance to tell myself back then some advise, I
wouldn’t make those mistakes.
Did you feel any social or peer pressure to get married earlier in your
life? If so, why?
I didn’t necessarily feel any societal pressure, mainly because I guess
growing up it geared more towards, “Go get your education!” But I think
I felt the unspoken pressure in the Church world. I often got asked,
“Oh when are you going to get married?” Even now I speak with some
friends and their thoughts are that older women are saying, “Life starts
when you get married.” – But I disagree with that. It makes people feel
the pressure to go find their Boaz. I think whatever season you’re in,
your have to be content with who you are. You have to know that God
knows the desires of your heart and He knows you want a companionship. We have to learn how to trust the Holy Spirit to lead our lives and
you may be surprised that sometimes it may not be something super
spiritual why God hasn’t brought you your partner yet, it may be a matter of, “you’re not financially ready at 22 for a relationship”.
As a young, educated and professional Christian, and committed to
decide to wait on God for the right person, did you ever fear the idea of
ending up alone?
Maybe when I was in my mid teens. I remember one day when I was
having my morning devotions and Him telling me that that area of my
life would be fine because I knew He loved me. It was one of things
that came out of nowhere. I had actually forgotten He told me that and
in my 20’s, it wasn’t so much a “fear” of being alone, it was more so, “If
I don’t get married, how will my dreams work out? Or what will I do to
get there without a partner? What is plan B? Was I okay with the fact I
wouldn’t have a husband? Not so much, because I’m a social person and
I want companionship. That being said, we have to be careful that it’s
not, “I want to be in a relationship so I’m not ‘lonely’, but rather, “I want
someone who God will use both together to accomplish His goals.” You
have to be content in who you are and who the Lord presented to you.
The idea should be, “how can we enhance our lives together for God?”
Did you ever feel left out when your friends were getting engaged and
I didn’t feel left out. I rejoiced with them and was happy for them. I was
content in that area of my life and was okay that I wasn’t ready yet. One
principle my parents taught me growing up was, “if you can’t rejoice
with someone then it might block a blessing for you”. Within my group
of friends, we encouraged each other, plus a lot of my friends ended up
getting engaged around the same time anyway.
What would you tell young people today who think “waiting on God” for
the right partner is an ancient act and who argue we are “modernized”
I think people see “waiting on God” is doing nothing. To wait is not passive, it’s active. While you are “waiting”, you are going on with your life
by going to school, working or opening up a business. I find that people
might not always properly express what these words mean. While you
“wait” you are seeking God. You are allowing God to change your perspective on certain things and allowing Him to change your character.
Seeing and recognizing your future spouse right away doesn’t happen
for everyone. Most times you’re going into a “potential” mentality to do
your research and get to know the person. I think that as you are living
life and you are old enough, if someone asks you out for a coffee, it’s
okay to say yes because that’s sometimes how we get to know people.
You want to be open but you don’t want to take the opportunity to go
into a very intimate friendship or relationship. You must always carry
yourself in a way where the other person will respect you as a woman of
God. You should know who you are so you won’t be moved by societal
or peer pressure. On the contrary, if you don’t feel you have to wait on
God, it means you’re going ahead of Him and you’re not living a surrendered life. When you’re moving ahead of God you’re actually being
Is there any additional advice you would give young Christians who face
the pressures of social media, temptations and racing against time?
I’m a firm believer that the Lord holds the balance of my days. He knows
your days before you were even born. People need to get a deeper
understanding of the love that God has for us. God knows how to give
good and perfect gifts. Knowing that He gives good gifts, He’s not going
to send you garbage. When you race against time, that’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on yourself. Try new things on your own so you can
discover more about you. When you do meet someone, don’t manipulate situations or force things. When you see things on social media that
make you feel and think negative thoughts, capture those thoughts and
declare God’s promises because the enemy will try and play with your
emotions. The enemy wants to destroy how you see yourself, but don’t
let it get to the point where you bring yourself down. Remember that
everything you see on social media is not always the real picture.